What You Don't Know:

My fall
my ascent
my fall again.
How I felt my mind expand so much I lost myself.
The innumerable screams,
some for pain,
some for anger,
some for fear,
some for desperation.
My desire dry.
I didn't leave the house for days.
How many times I was a child
refusing guidance.
How many letters I have not written,
how many letters I have
hidden away like incriminating evidence.
You don't know
I can't sleep
I can't remember who I am.
You don't know
This is the first time in many years
I have thought myself worthy.
I have to grow accustomed to not being afraid.